He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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