so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
