It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
