what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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