Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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