if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
