U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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