I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
