Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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