Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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