office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
