You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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