You're completely useless in the revolution.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Randomize
