Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
This is my gift to your gina
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
