I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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