Will you blow on my dice?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
should my penis look like a turkey
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
