recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
