HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
