Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
