a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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