I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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