bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
