I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
There r osticjed everywhere
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
