I'm lost and stupid without you.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
