it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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