We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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