My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
