Me. At least after what I've been through.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
