Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
