Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize