Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
