Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Come see our sink grown plant.

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(678): View more from Georgia

My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me

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(641): View more from Iowa

Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples

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(785): View more from Kansas

Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things

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(425): View more from Washington

You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock

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