East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You pole danced in your parka.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
