I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
