I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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