Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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