we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
