What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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