Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
