Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
its liver damage thursday
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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