Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
