I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
