I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
