We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
