I want to stick my p in your. b.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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