He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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