he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
