we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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