why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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