I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Randomize
